DBT

As a DBT therapist who leads three skills groups at Hartstein Psychological in addition to seeing individual clients, I have taught the Distress Tolerance ACCEPTS skills too many times to count throughout my career and have used them even more in my own life (they work!).
Some people seem to get what they want effortlessly, while others struggle to simply communicate their wants and needs. Objective effectiveness is about getting what you want out of a situation.
Life is filled with uncomfortable moments. These situations vary in intensity, from something less extreme—like noticing our phone battery is dying or sitting in traffic, to going through a breakup or losing a loved one—everyone experiences emotional discomfort at one point or another.
It’s important to be understanding of how your kids feel, even when you don’t get it. As parents, we have all been in the situation where we don’t understand why our child is losing it over something that seems so minor.
December, the last month of the calendar year, is often a month of reflection—a time when we think back on the past 11 months. Sometimes our thoughts become flooded with joyful and happy memories, while other times our hearts are filled with pain and sorrow.
Regardless of your political leanings, we can all agree that these are highly charged times. Opinions are varying and different and we aren’t always taking the time to listen to one another. In fact, we often just speak louder, thinking that will get the other person to listen. Spoiler alert: that doesn’t work.
Fall is typically a time of transition for most people, regardless of age or stage of life. School-age children are returning from their school-free summers. College students are returning to school, often after a summer of exposure to the working-world through a job or internship. And, working adults and parents also adjust to a more structured routine.
I’ve been thinking a lot about dialectics during this Pandemic. If you are new to Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), a dialectic is defined in DBT as two truths that coexist, even if they seem opposite. The dialectic that strikes me the most is the truth that we are seemingly living in very primitive times with a virus that has no known cure, even though we are so technologically advanced.
I recently noticed a friend of mine who posted exquisite photos on her social media profile. She isn’t a professional photographer, but she has a knack for capturing the world. I mentioned how impressed I was of her ability, and she replied, "it's all in the lighting, my friend." In that moment, it struck me how important this concept is now more than ever, and not just in regards to Instagram photos.