Parenting techniques

Throughout my years as a clinician working with children, parents have often asked, "how can I motivate my child?" Most of us misunderstand motivation. We think what motivates us will also motivate our children.  However, that’s not necessarily the case.
If your life looked drastically different ten days ago, the good news is you’re not alone. With the vast majority of Americans (and even the world) in some sort of self-quarantine, many of us are adapting to the "new normal," which can feel isolating, confusing, exhausting and a host of other emotions.
I am that mom that let’s my daughter climb on the playground without shadowing her every move. I’m also the mom who let’s my daughter steal toys from other kids and vice versa without getting involved. Lastly, I’m that mom who will stand there and let my daughter have a tantrum without trying to stop it, regardless if we're in a public place or not.
When your child is struggling with intense emotions, it can be challenging to help them feel calm and in control. Intense emotions often escalate quickly, making it difficult to use problem-solving skills during a challenging situation. Parents, and individuals working with children, often forget that the developing mind doesn’t process as quickly as an adult brain, thus making it hard to self-soothe and regulate strong feelings.

The rapid digitalization of modern society affects people differently. For parents in particular, this age has added an extra hurdle; they now must endeavor to guide their children through both the real world and the virtual world.

We’ve all heard of helicopter parenting – the practice of hovering anxiously near one's children, monitoring their every movement. Now, experts have identified a new category of parenting, even more extreme in some aspects than helicopter parenting, known as "snowplow parenting".
Parenting an adolescent is challenging. While your child is striving for more independence (and it is important to offer them some), the need to enforce clear and reasonable expectations is crucial to shaping behaviors.
The school year is back in full swing and many students we work with are feeling overwhelmed. Parents want nothing more than to help their children, but often, this isn’t the message their kids hear. What you say and how you say it can make all the difference in how your child feels and acts, so how do you communicate your concerns to them without it turning into an argument?
Labor Day: A long weekend of barbeques, trips to the beach, retail sales and vacation. Also, the last weekend of summer and the last hoorah before school and fall schedules begin–YIKES! Labor Day tends to evoke two very different emotions in people–excitement over the former and dread over the latter. For many, summer consists of 2 months of relaxation, lighter workloads, no school and traveling. Transitioning from this lifestyle back to reality (5 day workweeks, school/homework, and a heavier workload) can send anyone into a frenzy!
As a DBT therapist, one of my primary goals when working with clients is to help supply effective skills and coping mechanisms to help them manage their emotions when things may be difficult. While reviewing these skills, I often find that these children, adolescents and young adults have had very little opportunity to build and/or practice coping mechanisms on their own since they were little.
The countdown is on…less than a month until buses descend upon many cities and towns scooping up hundreds of children, ready to take them off to their summer home–sleepaway camp. For up to 7 weeks, kids ages 6-15 are whisked away to a cell-phone free, parentless fantasy land full of sports, arts, the outdoors, color war and many other activities they otherwise would not partake in.
We all grow up with certain expectations: I am going to have this job; I’m going to marry this person; I’m going to have this many kids, etc. It’s normal to dream or wish for certain things in our future. Sometimes, we achieve what we set out to do and sometimes, we have to change course. At what point must we take a step back and relinquish control of this idea of the “perfect life?” At what point must we work toward  acceptance of “what is?”